Random Thought Thursday

Ok, so here's the deal party people:  I am the proud parent of 2 very intelligent beings; however, both are stock raving mad. 

My oldest child, a girl, likes watching porn and bossing her brother around.  She is addicted to feeling "put upon" yet contributes absolutely NOTHING to the household and is required to only complete her homework in a timely manner and produce excellent grades.  She is an honor roll student and brought home straight A's on her last progress report.  Unfortunately, when she gets home, she acts like she's never seen any of the work material before.  I really hope this whole "No Child Left Behind" thing hasn't crept into private schools because i refuse to pay a monthly tuition to a school that produces dumb-dumbs. 

I am pretty sure that God is torturing me because this child is on an emotional roller coaster and is frequently and inexplicably mad at the world 38% of the week.  She is frequently pissed off because she doesn't get to play, but even as I  type, she isn't bothering to try to get her homework done.  I threatened to slap her face clean off her head (i used those exact words) because she had this "I'm about to cry" face on.  What in the world does she have to cry about?  The fact that she didn't get to go out and play because SHE failed to complete her homework?  Then, like a fool, she decides she is going to focus on her homework...in the dark.  If i could pull a Bernie Mac and chop this chick in her throat, God knows I would because she is really trying me.  I CAN'T STAND a dumb look while I'm speaking to you in a civil manner.  I'm going to take the advice of a co-worker and really put it on her when she's feeling put upon because this child is more than blessed and extremely favored

Now for my son: I am convinced that he is a genius, but he is about the nastiness creature I know.  His drawers stay chocked full of poop.  Handling his dirty laundry is a hazard to my health.  However, being nasty doesn't phase him.  Next to his nastiness is his inability to tell a good, compelling lie; however, he will stick with the dumb, improbable lie even if you threaten to kill him.  For example, when asked who peed on him since he was adamant that he didn't do it, he told me that the tree peed on him...the tree!!!  He said this so quickly...he didn't even skip a beat.  He didn't crack a smile.  I've never seen someone say something so foolish and keep a straight face.  I think that before he lies, he convinces himself that it is the truth; therefore, to him, he hasn't lie and so it's easy to stick with his story.  For instance, someone smeared poop on a roll of toilet tissue.  Neither my husband or I are this trifling.  My daughter is much to dainty for this (however, I still have to remind her to put lotion and deodorant on...i guess, in her world it's ok to smell like a spice rack all while looking like you've been rolling in a vat of flour).  This mess is right up my son's alley...he's done this on more than one occasion.  However, this time, he didn't own up to it and even when we told him that it had to be him, he wouldn't fess up.  We told him to say that it was his sister...he didn't lie on her (she would have popped him in his jaw).  He knew not to lie on me or his father and say that we did it.  Even after he was punished, he still wouldn't fess up.  Well, at least he's consistent

My son is large, my daughter is smallish.  They are 3 years apart and their hands are the same size.  She can wear his pants and they fit ok in the waist...the reverse is not true.  There is only 1 size difference between their shoes.  She does not like chocolate and considers many candies/pastries to be too sweet.  She will eat every vegetable given to her without complaint.  He loves all things sugary...he does not discriminate.  He will only eat greens (the green spicy things) and broccoli.  He hates asparagus and he thinks that green beans are the equivalent to asparagus.  But then again, he considers all meat/poultry to be chicken, no matter what it looks like...it's just a different form of chicken.  She puts on lip gloss before she brushes her teeth in the morning...I guess you gotta look good no matter how atrocious your breath is.  He will come out the bathroom bucket-naked and will run around the house that way until you force him to put clothes on, but as soon as he gets his underwear on, modesty kicks in and I can't see him in his underwear (however, it's ok for his sister to see him).  

What was this post about?
Nothing
I just wanted to talk about my kids :)

And yes, like a dummy, i'm thinking of another one