My baby is a Sour Patch Kid. At any given moment, he's a sour, shady lil' shit and then the next moment he's giving you a hug and trying to kiss your boo-boo's. For the longest time I couldn't figure out what flavor he was, but I have finally figured it out...
One day, my lil' poo was sitting on my lap when one of my jams came on. And like any other music aficionado, I began to sing with the song. Yeah, well Mr. Poo wasn't having it that morning. He proceeded to put his little 2-year old hand over my mouth, closed his eyes, shook his head back and forth and uttered a righteous "Uhh Uhh." When I tried to sing through his hand, he squeezed my mouth tighter and kept up with the "Uhh Uhh's."
Yeah, I know his flavor. He is the utter epitome of the flavor of shade. And I'm here for every minute of it because I am sure he can teach me a thing or two. I'm amazed that I only got a small piece of the "shade" gene and it all went to my baby...and he's the only one of my three that got it. I'm impressed
Friday, November 21, 2014
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Stuck on Stupid
Have you ever met or come across someone that just insisted on being stuck in a stupid thought or situation? Like, no matter how much good counsel you provide, how idiotic the other person sounds or how sound your logic is, they just have to be strong and wrong. I had an encounter like this in a comments thread on an urban blog site. Here's how it went:
Anonymous said...
The only thing that matters, in this case, are ratings. If you watched to hate or watched due to curiosity, you still watched and your watching behavior was noted. Since this isn't a tv series, all they need to do is bank on a day's worth of ratings and they're set. So, for those of you who can't figure out how the movie got so far when it was so bad, now you know and the people at lifetime are all cackling at you.
Anonymous said...
^^^ they can cackle all they want, but it doesn't change the fact that the movie was bad.
Anonymous said...
@11:01am They don't care if it's bad...they only need you to watch. Most lifetime original movies suck but that doesn't stop them from continuing to make them Anonymous said...
@11:31 that's fine that they don't care, that still doesn't change the fact that it was a bad movie. Anonymous said...
@11:38 OMG...no one is debating if the movie was bad or not...why are you stuck on that? The gist of the blog entry is that no matter how bad the movie was, Lifetime still got their coins because people watched that train wreck of a movie. Anonymous said...
@11:41 I hear you...but one problem at a time please ;)
@12:17 This is a comment section...therefore, I can talk about whatever I want. As I stated before, the ratings don't change the quality of the movie, which was poor. Of course the ratings were high - in 2001, Aaliyah was on the cusp of becoming huge (even though I agree with Realist that she wasn't the most super talented singer). Those who tuned in only did so to talk about how bad it was. It's not like the repeats will garnish those types of numbers, because they won't...and when they do air it, all people will do is talk about how bad it was. Anonymous said...
@12:42pm...forget it. The point I was trying to make is lost. I'm saying one thing and you're still talking about something else. Enjoy your day and be blessed. Anonymous said...
@1:11 Forgotten. You have your point, I have mine. I can read, I know what the post was about. You've missed my point as well. Have a nice day as well. Ok...Can you tell which one I am?
@12:17 This is a comment section...therefore, I can talk about whatever I want. As I stated before, the ratings don't change the quality of the movie, which was poor. Of course the ratings were high - in 2001, Aaliyah was on the cusp of becoming huge (even though I agree with Realist that she wasn't the most super talented singer). Those who tuned in only did so to talk about how bad it was. It's not like the repeats will garnish those types of numbers, because they won't...and when they do air it, all people will do is talk about how bad it was.
I'll wait...
If you couldn't guess, I start the 10:56 post and then some random THOT decided she needed to respond. Now, I don’t know if this tired individual is a male or female; I just decided it had to be a girl because I can’t see a man going back and forth like this
If you couldn't guess, I start the 10:56 post and then some random THOT decided she needed to respond. Now, I don’t know if this tired individual is a male or female; I just decided it had to be a girl because I can’t see a man going back and forth like this
Anyway, I hope you guys can see what I was trying to say; that no matter how bad this movie was, it still got the ratings and that is ALL Lifetime cares about. As long as fool-minded suckas keep watching crap, they are going to keep showing you crap. Lifetime had like a $20k budget and flipped that into a ton of advertising dollars because fools kept watching the terrible movie.
Somehow, the individual who decided that they needed to respond could not or would not see that. No matter what I said, even when I agreed with her, she still decided that she had to be right. But here’s the kicker…it wasn’t even a debate. So I was drawn into some sort of twisted conversation with a willfully ignorant person. My bad and shame on me. This will be the same person that will argue how cold it is outside while you’re discussing barometric pressure. It’s like “WTF! Why are you talking? More importantly, why are you talking to me?”
To give you some more perspective, the title of the blog post was “Aaliyah: Princess of R&B Ratings Bonanza for Lifetime." So, the blog and my comment discuss ratings while you still stuck on the quality of the show. Yeah, ok. So, you got “Short Bus Shawty” written all over your face. Good day, ma’am. ("Read a Book" also comes to mind since reading comprehension is low on her list of priorities.)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
i HATE teenagers
Some of you may know that I have a 9 year old daughter. Right now, I hate her.
No, I love her, but I hate her teenager-lite* ways.
She is hitting puberty in a major way and life is just about the suckiest thing ever for the both of us. Her constant bouts of hormone-derived insanity is going to cause me to lapse into a fugue and kick her dead in her neck or punch her right on the side of the head. If you see me on the news one day...you already know what happened.
Sometimes I fell like I need to put her up for adoption for the next 10-15 years and then reclaim her once she's grown because I just can't take much more of the mini daytime dramas that happen at least 3-4 times per day. I feel like I'm living with a brown Erica Kane (please google this chick if you don't know who she is...she is the ULTIMATE!!!)
The most recent drama...she wants her hair cut short.
Now, some of you may know that my daughter has a ton of hair and it is very long...just a couple of inches from her rear-end. Her hair isn't kinky like mine in the least bit. There is no "nap," just some frizz in certain sections. When she gets individual braids or cornrows, she doesn't need any Yaki or Kanekalon to get the ill hang-time (much to the amazement of some of the girls in her dance class). Like most wavy/curlies, the hair tangles easily. Her hair is no exception. So, while I'm combing out her hair to braid it up so she can sleep without fear of the dreaded fiend "Matted Bed-Head" attacking her poor head in the middle of the night, she asks me (for the 2nd time today) if she can give her hair to me and she wants it cut short because it is really just too much to take 5 min out of the day to detangle PRIOR to the formation of her hairstyle.
I want to tell her to shut up and stop being a dumb-dumb. Instead, I tell her fine and i'm making an appt for her this weekend to get the mess chopped off. I'm so tired of her feeling like life is such a burden. It makes me tired and grumpy.
The question now is...Should I cut off her hair? It might actually look good on her. Also, with less hair, there's less braiding for me and easier hair washing (she might be able to do it herself and it won't take 1/2 a bottle of shampoo and conditioner to get the job done...thank God!!). However, if she hates it, I can throw it in her face!!! That aspect excites me thoroughly.
Am I a bad mother? Probably, but oh well. It is what it is and that's all there is to it.
*Teenager-lite: teenage angst without the actual age behind it to say that it's teenage angst. a level of drama that typically oozes from a (pre)teen, but is actually emitted from an individual a little younger...like say a 9 year-old girl.
No, I love her, but I hate her teenager-lite* ways.
She is hitting puberty in a major way and life is just about the suckiest thing ever for the both of us. Her constant bouts of hormone-derived insanity is going to cause me to lapse into a fugue and kick her dead in her neck or punch her right on the side of the head. If you see me on the news one day...you already know what happened.
Sometimes I fell like I need to put her up for adoption for the next 10-15 years and then reclaim her once she's grown because I just can't take much more of the mini daytime dramas that happen at least 3-4 times per day. I feel like I'm living with a brown Erica Kane (please google this chick if you don't know who she is...she is the ULTIMATE!!!)
The most recent drama...she wants her hair cut short.
Now, some of you may know that my daughter has a ton of hair and it is very long...just a couple of inches from her rear-end. Her hair isn't kinky like mine in the least bit. There is no "nap," just some frizz in certain sections. When she gets individual braids or cornrows, she doesn't need any Yaki or Kanekalon to get the ill hang-time (much to the amazement of some of the girls in her dance class). Like most wavy/curlies, the hair tangles easily. Her hair is no exception. So, while I'm combing out her hair to braid it up so she can sleep without fear of the dreaded fiend "Matted Bed-Head" attacking her poor head in the middle of the night, she asks me (for the 2nd time today) if she can give her hair to me and she wants it cut short because it is really just too much to take 5 min out of the day to detangle PRIOR to the formation of her hairstyle.
I want to tell her to shut up and stop being a dumb-dumb. Instead, I tell her fine and i'm making an appt for her this weekend to get the mess chopped off. I'm so tired of her feeling like life is such a burden. It makes me tired and grumpy.
The question now is...Should I cut off her hair? It might actually look good on her. Also, with less hair, there's less braiding for me and easier hair washing (she might be able to do it herself and it won't take 1/2 a bottle of shampoo and conditioner to get the job done...thank God!!). However, if she hates it, I can throw it in her face!!! That aspect excites me thoroughly.
Am I a bad mother? Probably, but oh well. It is what it is and that's all there is to it.
*Teenager-lite: teenage angst without the actual age behind it to say that it's teenage angst. a level of drama that typically oozes from a (pre)teen, but is actually emitted from an individual a little younger...like say a 9 year-old girl.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
That nasty little "P" word
That nasty little word is procrastination (cue the omnious dun-dun-duuuuuun music).
I've known for at least 3 weeks that I needed to start packing for my trek across the country; however, not much got done because when packing, I would have to clean and the whole affair would become the worst chore ever recorded in history.
So...what did i do.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Now, I have to do everything at the last minute and it is affecting my health. I stayed up until 330 am this morning trying to get myself and 2 children packed and squared away. When I went to lie down, I didn't fall asleep for over an hr. I am now up less than 5 hrs after I originally went to bed because I can't sleep. I think I am having one continuous anxiety attack because I have this weird, nagging sensation in my chest like I'm going to have a heart attack.
No, I'm not going to have a heart attack.
However, since my vocabulary is limited and I do not possess the word that accurately describes the feeling, the term "heart attack" is just going to have to do. Maybe like butterflies, but in my chest...no, that's much too nice a term.
Any way it goes, it sucks.
Have I learned my lesson...not likely. Since I believe procrastination is something that you're born with, I'm stuck with it.
At about 3pm, I'm taking a sleeping pill and will try to get 7 hrs of sleep before I go pick up my spouse for our journey across this blessed land *rolling eyes*
I am not looking forward to it.
I've known for at least 3 weeks that I needed to start packing for my trek across the country; however, not much got done because when packing, I would have to clean and the whole affair would become the worst chore ever recorded in history.
So...what did i do.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Now, I have to do everything at the last minute and it is affecting my health. I stayed up until 330 am this morning trying to get myself and 2 children packed and squared away. When I went to lie down, I didn't fall asleep for over an hr. I am now up less than 5 hrs after I originally went to bed because I can't sleep. I think I am having one continuous anxiety attack because I have this weird, nagging sensation in my chest like I'm going to have a heart attack.
No, I'm not going to have a heart attack.
However, since my vocabulary is limited and I do not possess the word that accurately describes the feeling, the term "heart attack" is just going to have to do. Maybe like butterflies, but in my chest...no, that's much too nice a term.
Any way it goes, it sucks.
Have I learned my lesson...not likely. Since I believe procrastination is something that you're born with, I'm stuck with it.
At about 3pm, I'm taking a sleeping pill and will try to get 7 hrs of sleep before I go pick up my spouse for our journey across this blessed land *rolling eyes*
I am not looking forward to it.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Random Thought Thursday
Ok, so here's the deal party people: I am the proud parent of 2 very intelligent beings; however, both are stock raving mad.
My oldest child, a girl, likes watching porn and bossing her brother around. She is addicted to feeling "put upon" yet contributes absolutely NOTHING to the household and is required to only complete her homework in a timely manner and produce excellent grades. She is an honor roll student and brought home straight A's on her last progress report. Unfortunately, when she gets home, she acts like she's never seen any of the work material before. I really hope this whole "No Child Left Behind" thing hasn't crept into private schools because i refuse to pay a monthly tuition to a school that produces dumb-dumbs.
I am pretty sure that God is torturing me because this child is on an emotional roller coaster and is frequently and inexplicably mad at the world 38% of the week. She is frequently pissed off because she doesn't get to play, but even as I type, she isn't bothering to try to get her homework done. I threatened to slap her face clean off her head (i used those exact words) because she had this "I'm about to cry" face on. What in the world does she have to cry about? The fact that she didn't get to go out and play because SHE failed to complete her homework? Then, like a fool, she decides she is going to focus on her homework...in the dark. If i could pull a Bernie Mac and chop this chick in her throat, God knows I would because she is really trying me. I CAN'T STAND a dumb look while I'm speaking to you in a civil manner. I'm going to take the advice of a co-worker and really put it on her when she's feeling put upon because this child is more than blessed and extremely favored
Now for my son: I am convinced that he is a genius, but he is about the nastiness creature I know. His drawers stay chocked full of poop. Handling his dirty laundry is a hazard to my health. However, being nasty doesn't phase him. Next to his nastiness is his inability to tell a good, compelling lie; however, he will stick with the dumb, improbable lie even if you threaten to kill him. For example, when asked who peed on him since he was adamant that he didn't do it, he told me that the tree peed on him...the tree!!! He said this so quickly...he didn't even skip a beat. He didn't crack a smile. I've never seen someone say something so foolish and keep a straight face. I think that before he lies, he convinces himself that it is the truth; therefore, to him, he hasn't lie and so it's easy to stick with his story. For instance, someone smeared poop on a roll of toilet tissue. Neither my husband or I are this trifling. My daughter is much to dainty for this (however, I still have to remind her to put lotion and deodorant on...i guess, in her world it's ok to smell like a spice rack all while looking like you've been rolling in a vat of flour). This mess is right up my son's alley...he's done this on more than one occasion. However, this time, he didn't own up to it and even when we told him that it had to be him, he wouldn't fess up. We told him to say that it was his sister...he didn't lie on her (she would have popped him in his jaw). He knew not to lie on me or his father and say that we did it. Even after he was punished, he still wouldn't fess up. Well, at least he's consistent
My son is large, my daughter is smallish. They are 3 years apart and their hands are the same size. She can wear his pants and they fit ok in the waist...the reverse is not true. There is only 1 size difference between their shoes. She does not like chocolate and considers many candies/pastries to be too sweet. She will eat every vegetable given to her without complaint. He loves all things sugary...he does not discriminate. He will only eat greens (the green spicy things) and broccoli. He hates asparagus and he thinks that green beans are the equivalent to asparagus. But then again, he considers all meat/poultry to be chicken, no matter what it looks like...it's just a different form of chicken. She puts on lip gloss before she brushes her teeth in the morning...I guess you gotta look good no matter how atrocious your breath is. He will come out the bathroom bucket-naked and will run around the house that way until you force him to put clothes on, but as soon as he gets his underwear on, modesty kicks in and I can't see him in his underwear (however, it's ok for his sister to see him).
What was this post about?
Nothing
I just wanted to talk about my kids :)
And yes, like a dummy, i'm thinking of another one
My oldest child, a girl, likes watching porn and bossing her brother around. She is addicted to feeling "put upon" yet contributes absolutely NOTHING to the household and is required to only complete her homework in a timely manner and produce excellent grades. She is an honor roll student and brought home straight A's on her last progress report. Unfortunately, when she gets home, she acts like she's never seen any of the work material before. I really hope this whole "No Child Left Behind" thing hasn't crept into private schools because i refuse to pay a monthly tuition to a school that produces dumb-dumbs.
I am pretty sure that God is torturing me because this child is on an emotional roller coaster and is frequently and inexplicably mad at the world 38% of the week. She is frequently pissed off because she doesn't get to play, but even as I type, she isn't bothering to try to get her homework done. I threatened to slap her face clean off her head (i used those exact words) because she had this "I'm about to cry" face on. What in the world does she have to cry about? The fact that she didn't get to go out and play because SHE failed to complete her homework? Then, like a fool, she decides she is going to focus on her homework...in the dark. If i could pull a Bernie Mac and chop this chick in her throat, God knows I would because she is really trying me. I CAN'T STAND a dumb look while I'm speaking to you in a civil manner. I'm going to take the advice of a co-worker and really put it on her when she's feeling put upon because this child is more than blessed and extremely favored
Now for my son: I am convinced that he is a genius, but he is about the nastiness creature I know. His drawers stay chocked full of poop. Handling his dirty laundry is a hazard to my health. However, being nasty doesn't phase him. Next to his nastiness is his inability to tell a good, compelling lie; however, he will stick with the dumb, improbable lie even if you threaten to kill him. For example, when asked who peed on him since he was adamant that he didn't do it, he told me that the tree peed on him...the tree!!! He said this so quickly...he didn't even skip a beat. He didn't crack a smile. I've never seen someone say something so foolish and keep a straight face. I think that before he lies, he convinces himself that it is the truth; therefore, to him, he hasn't lie and so it's easy to stick with his story. For instance, someone smeared poop on a roll of toilet tissue. Neither my husband or I are this trifling. My daughter is much to dainty for this (however, I still have to remind her to put lotion and deodorant on...i guess, in her world it's ok to smell like a spice rack all while looking like you've been rolling in a vat of flour). This mess is right up my son's alley...he's done this on more than one occasion. However, this time, he didn't own up to it and even when we told him that it had to be him, he wouldn't fess up. We told him to say that it was his sister...he didn't lie on her (she would have popped him in his jaw). He knew not to lie on me or his father and say that we did it. Even after he was punished, he still wouldn't fess up. Well, at least he's consistent
My son is large, my daughter is smallish. They are 3 years apart and their hands are the same size. She can wear his pants and they fit ok in the waist...the reverse is not true. There is only 1 size difference between their shoes. She does not like chocolate and considers many candies/pastries to be too sweet. She will eat every vegetable given to her without complaint. He loves all things sugary...he does not discriminate. He will only eat greens (the green spicy things) and broccoli. He hates asparagus and he thinks that green beans are the equivalent to asparagus. But then again, he considers all meat/poultry to be chicken, no matter what it looks like...it's just a different form of chicken. She puts on lip gloss before she brushes her teeth in the morning...I guess you gotta look good no matter how atrocious your breath is. He will come out the bathroom bucket-naked and will run around the house that way until you force him to put clothes on, but as soon as he gets his underwear on, modesty kicks in and I can't see him in his underwear (however, it's ok for his sister to see him).
What was this post about?
Nothing
I just wanted to talk about my kids :)
And yes, like a dummy, i'm thinking of another one
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